Friendzone
by CloudMonkey
Summary: In which Tom attempts to court Hermione because she has knowledge of the future but gets obstructed by her obliviousness to the social customs of the 1940s.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Just your average time travel fic. I wanted to try it lol. I tried to make it a bit funny but Tom is Tom. Damn him.

Warning: 1940s sexism

* * *

She arrives in mysterious circumstances. They say that she comes from Grindelwald's war, that she is a refugee.

She looks the part, at least. Hermione Granger is all skin and bones. The haunted look in her eyes indicates that she has seen bloodshed and that she has lost people important to her.

Tom Riddle pays her no mind, at first. Though he finds it curious that she stiffens up in his presence.

It isn't the kind of stiffness that happens when he approaches a lovestruck girl, or when a person realizes that they're in the presence of the popular Tom Riddle. No, it is the kind that a prey has realized that they're in the same room with a predator.

Curious, but not that noteworthy.

She's suspiciously average in the classroom, however. When called, she gives textbook answers yet her homework are all A's and not E's or O's.

Sometimes he's beside her in Potions. She drops incorrect ingredients into her potion with a look of absolute concentration. He remembers her textbook answers and believes that it's impossible for her to forget the right way to brew the potion.

Hell, her textbook is beside her so she can check anyway.

Unless she's pretending.

And so Tom, with nothing to do, investigates.

In the guise of helping her with her potion (she stiffens again when he talks to her), he reads her mind.

"You'll need to add lionfish spines before the flobberworm mucus," says Tom, pointing to the ingredient.

When she makes eye contact, Tom takes this chance to read her mind.

 _I know that, you dolt. Do you know how frustrating it is to purposely mess up my potion?!_

He blinks in surprise.

 _Why_ is she sabotaging her own potion?

"Oh!" she says, unconvincingly, as if she only noticed the lionfish spines just now. "How careless of me."

Yes, how careless of her.

After that, he intentionally bumps into her in the library, where she always stays, now that he noticed.

He's just curious, he tells himself. In between killing Myrtle, and planning world domination, and keeping up his good boy act, nothing much goes on in his life. Hermione Granger is a passing interest, that's all.

And so he goads her into revealing her intelligence.

She's a Gryffindor, and Gryffindors are always so predictable when it comes to provoking them.

He helps her with her essays, and she's too polite to turn down his assistance. Though he's amused to observe that she seems offended that he thought she needed help.

At first, he tells her the wrong information. He starts small, like saying that the Wiggenweld Potion can't cure someone who drank the Draught of Living Death.

Her eye twitches but she writes it down.

The next time, he feeds her even more false information.

She purses her mouth, and says, "Are you sure?"

He nods and reads her mind.

She's cursing him inside.

When he couldn't help but laugh, he covers it up by saying that he's teasing her.

She isn't as amused as he. "I think I'll do my own essay, thank you."

But he tells her that he's the top student in Hogwarts with the best grades in centuries. She sniffs in derision at that, albeit silently.

"I apologize for teasing you," he says. "I just want to be friends."

She says nothing to that and continues with her essay.

He doesn't repeat with hindering her with her work so often to warm her up to him, and instead gives her actual facts that help her. Bit by bit, she starts to relax around him. And bit by bit, he's starting to find her adorable.

Without realizing it, he has started to memorize her tells.

She scrunches her nose when she's purposely writing down wrong details, as if it disgusts her to do so, she chews on her quill when she's brainstorming for ideas, her eye twitches whenever she sees him, her mouth quirks when she's amused but doesn't want him to know.

And, for some reason, she likes to look at his nose.

She makes funny jokes out of it too.

He retaliates by telling her handing her wrong books for their homework.

One day, she just snaps.

" _ **Why do you keep giving me wrong information?**_ " she whisper-yells at him.

He furrows his brows. "I don't under-"

She waves his reply away. "Oh, don't pretend like you always do, Tom. You've been doing this since you offered to help me!"

Hook, line, and sinker.

He grins. "If you knew that, then why did you still write them down."

And pretend like he always does? She knows about that? She might be sharper than he gives her credit for.

She opens her mouth. Then closes it. Opens it again like a fish.

"I- well- er-"

He leans toward her until their faces are inches apart. "Why are you hiding your intelligence, Hermione?"

She stutters, "H-Hiding? What hide? I'm not hiding anything."

He reads her mind again, expecting something funny like men won't offer her hand in marriage if she's smarter than them, or maybe she was teased because she's a bookworm.

No. What he finds is time travel.

* * *

Now that the cat's out of the bag, Tom makes sure to tease her with her essays.

He gives her wrong information left and right and now she won't believe a word that comes out of his mouth when it comes to academics anymore.

It's fortunate for him that she's an intelligent time traveler. There are magical advancements that she knows of that he doesn't. He can use her.

He courts her then, intending to use her information of the future for his plans.

How far into the future was she? Does she know of him? Is that why she stiffens sometimes in his presence like she's prey?

If so, then that only means good things for him.

One day, he gives her flowers in front of a crowd. They ooh and aah but Hermione is just confused.

"What's this for?" she asks. And isn't it obvious?

"It's for you," he says.

Her eyebrows shoot up to her forehead, shocked.

He delves into her mind it is full of _what the fuck's_ and _Voldemort and flowers do not belong in the same sentence_ and _Am I dying._

She knows of the name Voldemort.

His flower-giving is a success.

Kind of.

Her reaction wasn't ideal, he gives her that. But he has gleaned information from her that she wouldn't have given had he not courted her.

He has to charm her better.

So he accompanies her to her classes, waits for her outside classrooms, and offers to carry her bag for her.

She thanks him always, happy that she wouldn't be burdened with her heavy textbooks.

Every time, he reads her mind to see if she's seeing him in a favorable light. And yes, she does.

As a friend.

What century is she in that accompanying her every day means that they're friends?!

He has to work harder. Because if she falls for him, she can tell him all about the future willingly. He is not satisfied with the crumbs that he's getting from the Legilimency that he's performing on her. Tom only brushes her mind with Legilimency after all, or else she will notice his intrusions.

And so he holds her hand.

Usually, skin contact makes him recoil in disgust on the inside but Hermione's touch is tolerable. Her hand is warm and soft, perfect for holding.

He smiles sweetly at her, delighting in the way that she returns them with genuine smiles. Sometimes he tucks stray curls into her ear, feeling the silky texture of her wild hair.

Every time, he reads her mind.

Every time, he's just a friend.

Actually, no. He's been upgraded to _best_ friend.

 _What. Will. It. Take?_

The flowers didn't work. The hand holding didn't work. The hair thing didn't work. And he can't kiss her because that's just improper behavior not suited for a proper girl like her.

Or are the social customs of the future that different?

Or are his skills of wooing insufficient?

He has never attempted to court anyone before, finding everyone boring and uninteresting and dumb. Perhaps _he's_ the problem? Maybe he needs to be more assertive.

So he asks her to accompany him to Hogsmeade.

She bites her lips and gives him an apologetic look.

Ah. So after all this time, she never saw him as a potential love interest. She's refusing his offer to a date.

"I'm sorry, Tom," she says. "I would love to go with you but no one can sign my permission slip to go to Hogsmeade."

 _Oh!_ So that's all. She's not rejecting _him_. It's only because everyone she probably knows is dead so no one can sign her slip.

Tom lets out a relieved brea-

What? Why is he relieved?

Never mind that.

How will he court her if they can't go on dates? Dates are supposed to be in public so everyone will know that she's spoken for.

"I see." He sighs, letting her know he's disappointed.

She bites her lips again and furrows her brows. She's thinking of a plan.

Tom edges closer to her in anticipation. Is she going to propose a different place for their date?

"I know of a way to sneak into Hogsmeade though," she tells him. She sends him a mischievous look. "Would you like to see?"

He doesn't know that!

How come she knows more about Hogwarts than he does? His ancestor owns this castle!

Oh. Right.

Time travel.

Still, he's a bit jealous.

But the fact that she's willing to sneak into Hogsmeade means that she's accepting his date, right? It means that he's something more than a friend, right?

He takes a peek into her head again.

 _Damn it!_

* * *

He makes sure to be the perfect gentleman in Hogsmeade. He buys her chocolates from Honeydukes even when she insisted to pay for it herself, they stroll the bookshop with her hand tucked into his arm, and Tom seats her on her chair at the Three Broomsticks.

He asks her what she will order and she says she'd like a kidney pie.

He orders for them, like the perfect gentleman that he is.

But then she got annoyed.

"I can order by myself, you know." She crosses her arms. "I have a mouth to speak with."

Tom furrows his brows in confusion. "Yes… you have."

She sighs, mumbling about stupid archaic values and the like.

Did women order for themselves in the future? Well, that isn't too bad, he guesses. What he did is nothing to be annoyed about though.

Food arrives and they eat.

They debate on the uses of Dragon's blood when she slips that there are twelve instead of eleven.

He narrows his eyes at her. "Twelve? Do you know something I don't, Hermione?" He says it in a teasing tone so she won't suspect that he has knowledge of her time travel.

He wonders if she's going to give him a hint of her secret.

"I misspoke," she says, sheepish. "Sorry."

She isn't going to then.

She doesn't trust him enough yet.

He pays for their food, and she gets annoyed yet again, saying that she can pay for her food. But he is the man on this date, why should she pay?

Are the men in the future so barbaric that they have women pay for themselves?

What atrocity!

They're _women_. They're soft, and demure, and-

-and not like Hermione at all.

Hermione is fierce and independent. She might try to disguise it but underneath all that poorly made mask of hers, she's determined and won't let anyone talk her down. She's just like her hair: untamable.

Are women like her in the future?

If not, then Hermione should be the model woman. She's intelligent and won't have others take care of her.

He needs to pay though.

"Please, let me. I insist."

He _has_ to be the gentleman. Social customs say that the man _must pay._

"No!"

He sighs.

Fine.

If dates in the future mean that the woman pays too then he's going to tolerate it just this one time.

Next time will be different though.

He uses Legilimency yet again to see if he has won any points and is angry to see that she's remembering her time with her friends.

Her _male_ friends.

How improper can people in the future be that men and women can just be friends like that?!

He's going to kill this Harry and Ron for even becoming Hermione's friends.

* * *

Months pass and Hermione still thinks nothing of his attempts to court her.

Whenever he would say something casual like, "We're like a married couple." or "This almost seems like a date."

She'd reply with a laugh and say, "That's what others say about my friends too. I guess we're close like that."

Tom is ready to tear his hair out.

When Tom told her about the rumors that he's in love with her though, she let out a bellowing laughter that echoed the halls. Tears were in her eyes.

He was so insulted he never repeated that particular rumor to her ever again.

Gradually though, he helps Hermione come out of her facade of the average student. He tells her that it's a pity that she can't share her intelligence and asks why she does it.

"Er… Men- men won't like me if I'm more intelligent than they are." She doesn't meet his eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll be here for you," he hints.

He ponders over what the real reason is, because it _is_ a real pity. She should want everyone to know that she's above most people.

Nevertheless, he's starting to like the witch and he finds that he doesn't mind courting her.

"Thank you, Tom," she says.

 _Wow, I didn't think Voldemort would become my best friend._

Aaand of course.

Tom wonders if he should give up.

If Hermione _does_ consider himself as her best friend, then that means she likes him enough to protect him with her life. That's what she did with the ones she calls Harry and Ron.

Which means she must like him enough to trust him with her secret.

A few days after his revelation, Hermione _does_ tell him that she's a time traveller.

She guides him to the Room of Requirement and confesses.

"I'm from the future."

Tom pretends to be shocked.

"What?" he gasps.

To his surprise, she bawls her eyes out in front of him.

What- why is she crying?

"I don't know why but your future self sent me here fifty years from the future," she sobs. "Tom, you bloody idiot!" She punches him on the arm and _damn_ that hurt.

He isn't pretending anymore.

He rubs the spot she punched and says, "But why would I send you?"

He pictures himself 50 years in the future. He sees Hermione, intelligent, loyal, and brave. Was he successful in his plans? Is that why he sent Hermione? Because she helped him rule over the wizarding world?

That seems likely.

He then asks her how she knew him in the future.

She has stopped crying, though she avoids his question in her Gryffindor-ish ways by saying, "Oh look at the time! It's almost dinner."

It's two hours before dinner.

"Don't evade the ques-"

But she has already run away.

* * *

Tom can see that Hermione still needs time to tell him about her secret.

It's okay. Tom is in no rush. What matters the most is that she will help him rule the world.

Though it puzzles him that he still continues to court her even when it has no use to him anymore.

"Would you like to go on a date with me to Hogsmeade?"

Hermione bends over with laughter. "You're too funny, Tom. Don't you _ever_ do that again."

He gives her an unamused stare.

 _Bloody hell._


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I wasn't planning on continuing this but then I got hit by a plot bunny.

* * *

Tom goes down on one knee.

"Will you marry me?"

You see, Hermione is in a decade where she has no one else to stay with. She has no friends or family here because she isolated herself, fearing that she might alter the future with one wrong word or move to anyone.

She only has Tom Riddle, who, despite her best efforts, wouldn't leave her alone, which probably is the most unexpected thing that has happened in her life.

And most likely the most dangerous thing too.

And now, bloody Voldemort is asking for her hand in marriage!

After she revealed to him that she was from the future out of frustration, Tom became more attentive to her. He always asked how she was, if she was settling well in the past, if Grindelwald's war was still ongoing in the future and how she was taking it, and all the other fake concern for her he had. Clearly, he wanted to extract information from her.

Sick of his bullshit, she told him to cut it out and act like the Dark Lord that he will be.

Hermione cursed herself endlessly for acting like Harry that day.

Overjoyed with her reveal, he dropped his mask around her and behaved more like his true self. No more fake concerns to deal with.

And because Tom became more like himself around her, their friendship flourished. He still gives her flowers and is with her everywhere but he's more relaxed now.

Voldemort probably just sent her back to the past because he wanted a friend.

Poor Voldemort.

They may be buddies now but she won't ever forget that he's manipulative so she narrows her eyes at Tom suspiciously. "You aren't just asking because I have knowledge of the future, are you?"

He sighs, still on one knee.

He does that a lot around her: sighing.

She wonders why.

She actually asked him one time about that habit of his but he only gave her a haunted look.

"No, I'm not," he says. For a man proposing, he doesn't look too happy or nervous. More annoyed, from what Hermione can tell.

"Then why are you proposing?"

Tom looks at her as if she was stupid. "Why do you think?"

It can't be because he's in love with her. Voldemort can't love after all, as Dumbledore told Harry.

But he _can_ recognize friendship.

He must be offering because he values their friendship so much, and navigating the wizarding world at her age, unmarried, would be dangerous. He must have realized that so now he's asking.

Who knew Voldemort could be such a great friend?

She will have to tell Harry about this once she gets back.

Had Tom been anyone else though, she would have fallen for him a long time ago. A man so smart he's like a walking encyclopedia? What a great catch! Alas, she won't love someone who can't love her back.

"I think it's because there's a good man deep inside you." She smiles at him, thinks for a moment, then adds, "Deep, deep inside."

He frowns, stares at her in the eyes, and sighs again. "Just accept the bloody ring. My knees are aching."

So, yes, Hermione accepts his proposal.

And that's how she got engaged to Voldemort.

* * *

Their engagement is the talk of the school for weeks to come. The most sought-after head boy is now going to be married to some plain jane!

Hermione's insulted of course, but Tom is having a bit of sick satisfaction at that. It's payback for having been oblivious all this time. _Still_ oblivious, actually.

Tom now admits, after spending so much time with Hermione, that he's fond of her. He's fond of her smile, her laugh, her wit, her intelligence, and many others.

 _Romantically_. Not platonically like she believes.

He likes her enough that he believes being married to her wouldn't be too bad.

But for someone so smart she could be so stupid sometimes.

She has noticed his sighs of exasperation but not his feelings.

Because of that, he has become even more aggressive- but still on the edge of propriety, of course- with his flirtations.

"What do you think of me, Hermione?" he asks.

They're sitting under a tree by the Great Lake, watching the students tickle the Giant Squid.

She takes his hand in hers, feeling his smooth palm. Her eyes meet his and Tom feels a spark in there. Perhaps…

"I don't think you're too bad," she says softly. "I… I think I've come to love you."

He sucks in a breath.

Oh, how he waited for this day to co-

"As a friend, of course!" she clarifies, needing him to know that no other emotions are involved. She loves him like she does Harry and Ron.

Tom groans.

He reads her mind then, to find whatever is wrong with him, and sees her fear that he might believe that she's in love with him romantically. Because the Voldemort in her time laughed at love, believing it silly. What if Tom is the same?

You know what? Voldemort was probably like that because of her.

He moves closer to her until their shoulders touch and whispers, "What if I don't want to be your friend? What if I want to be something else instead?"

Tom needs to more direct. He would have kissed her cheek had they not been in public. For some reason, people from the future are so stupid when it comes to dating. Or maybe it's just Hermione.

The beginnings of a smile teases her lips. "Are you making a jo-"

"I'm not joking."

Her smile freezes.

"I've been trying to court you for _months_. The flowers, waiting for you at the end of classes, the dates at Hogsmeade, carrying your bag for you and- let me finish!" He silences her when he sees her about to answer. "And _I don't know why you keep reading them wrong._ Are people from the future so stupid?"

She opens and closes her mouth, dumbfounded by his monologue. "I- I thought you were just being-"

"-a good friend," Tom finishes bitterly. Then he gives her an exasperated look. "What century are you in that the things I did look like what a friend usually does?"

Her mouth twitches. "I'm not answering that. All I'm going to say is that you're very mean in the future. That's probably why I read you wrong."

He rolls his eyes. Yes, yes future Dark Lord blah blah blah. Well future Dark Lords shouldn't have problems with a _girl_ , of all things.

When you hear about Dark Lords, you think about them terrorizing the country, giving people reasons to fear them, killing babies or the like.

Not- not _girl troubles_.

How humiliating.

Then she sighs and gives him an apologetic look. She squeezes his hands and says, "I'm sorry. It's just- I thought-" Her eyes widen. "Are you in love with me?"

No!

Pfft. Him? With her? That's just silly. He's only using her for her knowledge of the future, even though she barely shares any information about that. She offers excellent conversation too.

It's not because of her smiles or anything.

That's just silly.

So silly.

Tom clears his throat. "No. But I _am_ attracted to you, you stupid buffoon- _like I've been trying to convey for months._ "

He even proposed to her! Who asks for a person's hand in marriage with friendship in mind?

"Oi!" She hits him on the arm.

He hisses at the pain. "What the- Are all women so violent from where you come from?"

She points at him. "Women can be violent all the time. You're just sexist."

"I don't think pointing out violence is sexist." He shakes his head at her, disappointed. "Violence is never the answer, Hermione." His arm is throbbing.

"Says the Dark Lord!"

There they sit, glaring at each other.

Damn it. Now they got off track.

He raises a placating hand, eager to get their romance starting. "Look, all I'm trying to say is that I'm sick of being your friend-"

"-how dare you!"

"- _and-_ " He covers her mouth with his hand so she can shut up. He casts a silencing charm too and ties her wrists together so she won't be able to attack him. "-that I'm attracted to you. I'd rather be engaged to my future wife than my friend."

Finally, she listens, and it's with a blush. Her eyebrows furrow in thought so Tom takes this chance to skim her thoughts.

 _If I take this chance to teach Tom how to love, then he won't be Dark Lord anymore._

Oh for the love of-!

* * *

And so came Hermione's pathetic attempts to make him fall for her.

She should be the poster girl for Gryffindor because her attempts to woo him are so… obvious and terrible that Tom can't help but laugh at her and tease her.

Just like now, they're on their way to Herbology and she's rubbing her hands to get heat on them. "It's cold, isn't it?" she says, giving him a pointed look.

Is she expecting him to give his gloves to her when her own are peeking out from her pocket? What, teach him generosity, is that it?

"That's just your heart." Like hell he's going to give his gloves. His hands will get cold.

She hits him again.

Goddamn woman!

Whenever they're outside, she keeps saying that she's cold, deliberately forgetting her scarf, her gloves, and occasionally her cloak, as if that will make him give hers.

He finally says, "You're a witch, aren't you? Just cast a warming charm." He looks at her as if she's stupid while he offers his cloak to her. Because even if he tries to resist, she's still a woman and he's a gentleman, Dark Lord or not.

She pouts, and then feels bad that he had to give up his cloak when the temperature outside is freezing so she never repeats the cold method again.

Thank Merlin.

After that, she tries a different method. Every chance she gets, she asks him personal questions, to get to know his mindset in order to find out how to make him love someone. Namely, her.

"What are some things that make you feel better?"

"Chocolate."

So she feeds him chocolates.

"Say ahh." She holds a Honeydukes chocolate to his mouth. She came to the Slytherin table just for this.

"Ahh." He opens his mouth, obeying.

What can he say? He loves to be served and doted upon.

He already feels better.

But then she does it every day.

Every. Day.

Tom appreciates the thought but nowadays, whenever he sees chocolate, bile rises in his throat and he gets the urge to vomit.

He has become traumatized.

During breakfast, he eats as quickly as possible before escaping to his class 30 minutes before it begins. To his horror, Hermione sometimes hunts for him so he has to flee to the Chamber of Secrets, where she cannot enter.

Look at the Dark Lord now.

Scared of a girl and her chocolates.

He likes getting fed by her, that's why he won't tell her to stop. In the end though, he couldn't take it. When he tells her to stop, almost begging, she grins.

 _Take that for trying to kill my friends_ , her mind says.

Of course. Revenge by chocolates.

He has to admit, it's a genius idea.

After that though, she takes her questions more seriously to get to know him better.

"What are your goals for the future?"

"World domination."

She glares at him. "Other than that."

Tom purses his lips in thought. "Hmm… I don't know."

She sighs and scratches off one more question off her list on her parchment.

"What are your interests?"

"I like magic, studying, killing, and classical music."

Hermione frowns at him disapprovingly. "One of those is not like the others."

True. Classical music isn't much popular nowadays. Still, he likes it. There's not much he can do about that.

Suddenly, he realizes. Why is he taking all of her attacks passively? Is he just going to take this lying down and play into her games?

So he takes this chance to turn the tables on her. She's trying to make him fall for her? Hah! Well she's going to fall for him first! He might be attracted to her but he's not in love with her so he hasn't lost to her yet.

He leans toward her and brushes her hair out of her eyes.

Her breath catches in her throat. Her pupils dilate.

" _You_ interest me, Hermione," he murmurs.

Is that enough love for her?

"Tom," she whispers.

His lips curl into a seductive smile. Should he kiss her now that they're officially dating and engaged, where the other party is finally fully aware of his intentions? The mood in this scene certainly calls for it: the smell of freshly mowed grass, the sounds of the waves of the lake, and they're concealed from others behind a tree.

It's the perfect place to kiss.

"Tom," she whispers again. He moves closer to her and she gasps. "You're sitting on my hand." She wiggles her fingers under his butt. "It hurts."

But of course he's stuck with the person who has zero awareness of how romance works.

She might be trying, but clearly, everything she's doing is failing. He hasn't fallen for her one bit.

Though he finds her attempts endearing.

Sometimes, she hugs him tight, surprising him and embarrassing him because she just does it out of nowhere. Does she think that hugging him to death will have him love her just like that?

He wouldn't mind it much if she gives him enough space to breathe or if she gives him even a little warning before lunging at him.

Now he braces himself every time he fetches her after her classes.

"Oof!"

He waited for her outside the greenhouses and this is what he gets? An attack on his ribcage?

People giggle and coo at them and it has Tom groaning. Damn Hermione.

Look what she has done to his polite but untouchable persona.

He has to ask, "Why do you keep hugging me?"

"Because you're always cold."

Tom raises a brow. "I have a warming charm on every time I go outside. And it's almost never cold inside the castle."

"I meant your heart," she says. "I'm trying to warm it." She further burrows herself into his arms.

Ah. Well. He has no response to that. It's not like she isn't wrong either.

He accepts her hugs without complaint since then.

Besides her hugs, there are the- the _declarations_. Some, he will admit, got his black heart beating, but the many others, he just sighs in exasperation.

"You really know how to make a girl's heart melt." This one isn't too bad. He's flattered, in fact.

"You're really handsome." Why, thank you! Tell him more.

"You're smart." Yes, he is.

"You're kin-" she hiccups- "polite, at least." She couldn't lie.

"You have nicely clipped nails." Yes… he does.

"Your… teeth are white." He guesses so?

"Er… Your shoes are in good condition." What?

Are his good qualities so few that she has taken to complimenting his shoes and teeth?

"You're the greatest fiancé ever." He's her _only_ fiancé.

But when she has no more good things to say, she goes to "I love you, Tom." And that does _not_ make his heart skip a beat.

Her declaration of love is true, he has no doubt, but she only says that whenever she has run out of good things to say about him.

And she says I love you all the time.

He wonders if anybody can understand what he's going through right now. He needs a shrink. Or Firewhisky.

Her attempts are _that_ atrocious. (No, seriously. They're really bad. Tom isn't falling for her one bit. But then again, he's already attracted to her so the attention is kind of nice.)

So in order to balance it out, Tom does his best to seduce her. And he can say with confidence that his efforts are more effective.

He gives her flowers, accompanies her to her classes, kisses her on the cheek, carries her bag for her, asks her out on a date to Hogsmeade, holds her hand, and…

Nothing has changed at all! Except for kissing her on the cheek, everything he's doing is how he courted her before and he knows all too well how that worked out.

At least Hermione had new ideas.

The school year is ending yet none of them have fallen for the other yet.

To Tom's utter mortification, he is now searching through the books in the library on how to make a girl fall in love with him. He searches high and low and finally finds one. Its title is _Charming a Witch's Heart Made Easy._

Tom doesn't dare read it in broad daylight though. He would be insane to do that and people would laugh at him.

So he sneaks into the library in the middle of the night and proceeds to the section where he found that book.

He stumbles upon Hermione, _Charming a Witch's Heart Made Easy_ in her hands.

She had been using the book on him.

* * *

 **End Note** : I wanted to add more but this seemed a good place to end it.


	3. Chapter 3

"Have you been using that book on me?" Tom asks, incredulous.

Hermione snaps the book shut before quickly hiding it behind her. "What book? I don't see any book!"

Don't see any book? She's in the library!

He _Accios Charming a Witch's Heart Made Easy_ to him, catching it in midair. It's heavy, two inches thick and he wonders how charming witches merits this big of a book. Surely women are simply easy to woo?

He eyes it in disgust.

She had been using it on him!

"I- I can explain!"

Tom raises an eyebrow and waves it to her, flashing the cover's title to her. "Have you been seeing another witch behind my back then?"

"What? No! It's just-" She bites her lip. "I wanted you to fall for me. Which- I think, is impossible." She coughs, and he hears something suspiciously like _you not having a heart and soul and all._

He frowns. "And _you're_ rude."

He has a heart. And soul. Though he mostly uses them for Horcruxes.

Figuratively though? That's up for debate.

And because he isn't supposed to know why she needs him to fall for her, he asks her, "Why do you want me to fall for you? Are you in love with me or something?"

She snorts. "That's really funny," she says.

He has to stop getting offended every time she does this.

Hermione is _really_ rude.

"No," she continues. "I just thought that maybe if you love someone, maybe me, then you'll stop your dream of becoming Dark Lord."

"You do realize how stupid that sounds, right?"

She pouts. "I realized that halfway through using the book."

Then she straightens herself up and stares at him in the eye, a determined look on her face. "I won't give up though. I _will_ teach you how to love, whether you become Dark Lord or not. Loving someone can feel nice too, you know."

Good. That means getting pampered longer and more compliments.

Tom shrugs and returns the book to her. If that's what makes her happy then who is he to argue? "Suit yourself. I'm warning you, however, that I find love a weakness so it's not going to happen."

She accepts the book and points out. "Love can be a person's strength too."

Tom can't control contorting his expression into one of disgust. "If you quote Dumbledore on me, I'm going to puke."

"What if I told you that you'll be defeated in the future because of love?" she tests, carefully watching him as he absorbs her words.

He merely scoffs. "I don't believe you." The very thought is ridiculous. Losing to someone because of love? How silly.

Power can only be defeated by more power.

Hermione sighs. "I knew you were going to say that." Then she narrows her eyes suspiciously at him. "What were you doing anyway, sneaking here at night?"

Oh, crap!

He'd rather cut off his arm than let her know that he was going to read _Charming a Witch's Heart Made Easy_ too.

He can only imagine the humiliation he'll face if she finds out.

"I was looking for…" He glances at the book in her hands, then around the bookshelf, searching for another that will excuse his actions. He spots _Magick Moste Evile_ on the same bookshelf. "… books on Dark Arts."

Why is _Magick Most Evile_ on the same shelf as _Charming a Witch's Heart Made Easy_?

Hermione gives him an exasperated look. "Tom…"

He blinks innocently. "Only for academic purposes, Hermione. No need to worry your pretty little head."

"You know what?" She puts the book back into its place on the shelf. She grabs his shoulders to turn him around. "Let's go back to our dormitories."

"And leave the Dark Arts books waiting?" he teases. "I don't think so."

She pushes his back to guide him to the exit and he can almost feelher scowling at him in disapproval.

" _We_ are going to sleep," she says in a threatening voice. "No one is reading any Dark Arts books tonight."

That's fine. He has scoured the whole library of it and memorized the most important sections of several dark books. His brain _is_ a library.

"What about books on charming witches?"

Hermione groans.

The next day, he asks her while he accompanies her to Herbology. He hasn't checked the book out yet so he's curious. "So, what did you learn from the book?" He chuckles. "You really think you can make me fall for you?"

Hermione's cheeks flush red. "I bet you won't be laughing once you do."

Well, he's laughing now. He _really_ doubts he can be in love with somebody. And no matter how fond he is of this witch, what she intends to do is impossible.

"We'll see," he says, confident.

They arrive at the greenhouses and Tom waves goodbye to his fiancée, however, she tugs on his robes, urging him to stay for a bit.

"You want to know what I learned?" She grins. "Wait here." Then she runs inside the greenhouse.

Tom has a bad feeling about this, but he respects Hermione enough to listen to her so he stays.

She comes back to him with a flower in her hand.

A flower in her hand. Violet and cute.

He bursts out in laughter. Some students look over at him in shock, unused to seeing the Head Boy so carefree.

" _That_ is your bright idea?" he gasps. "Give me flowers- no- a _single_ flower?"

She glares at him. "I think I'd rather stab you with the flower now actually."

To his surprise, she does raise the flower to his face. He closes his eyes in reflex, afraid that he might get stabbed in the eye with whatever Hermione is doing, when he feels her slip the flower behind his ear.

He can smell the perfume that she rubbed on her wrists, the scent of flowers in spring.

His eyes flutter open and is greeted by Hermione's impish smile.

So that's her plan? Placing a flower behind his ear as a man would to a woman, acting all cute?

She's adorable.

"I charmed the flower to stick to you for at least four hours," she says.

He takes that back. She's not adorable. She's _annoying_.

He tests the flower to see if she was telling the truth by pulling on the stem.

It won't budge.

He huffs. "This won't make me fall for you. In fact, you just lost points."

She parts her mouth in delight. "I didn't even know I had points!"

He points his wand at her. "I'm tempted to curse you right now."

"But you love me!"

No, he doesn't!

* * *

Hermione has been sneaking into the library after curfew until early in the morning, researching on time travel. She barely finds anything useful, the information is outdated, and when she does find anything that can help her, the book mysteriously disappears.

That's mostly Tom's fault.

He has been sabotaging her research because he can't have his Seer go anywhere without him. Besides, it's not like Hogwarts will have any truly informative books on time travel. Hogwarts is a _school_ with hundreds of students milling about.

Think of the catastrophe if some random student gets ahold of knowledge of time travel because Hogwarts decided that it would be a safe place to store books with sensitive information.

Sensitive information like Horcruxes, perhaps, Tom thinks as he flips through the tome that Hermione had been reading earlier before she faceplanted on the book and started to snore.

He has been using her exhaustion as an opportunity to 'help' her, like a loving fiancé.

He still hasn't forgotten about his mission to make her talk to him about the future. Apparently, becoming her best friend does not mean getting her future knowledge.

Not even useful spells!

Hermione is stingy, Tom bitterly concludes.

It's nearly dinner and Hermione is still drooling on the table.

If only he had a camera… He would have had a lot of blackmail material from this alone.

He puts a hand on her shoulder and gently shakes her. Locks of hair fall to her open mouth. "Hermione?"

"Hngh?" She doesn't open her eyes. Neither does she close her mouth.

"It's almost dinner."

She groans and burrows her face further into her arms. Now he can't see her through her monster of a hair.

"Kidney pie is on the menu today," he urges.

She lets out a satisfied _hmm_.

"Yes, 'hmm', now get up before some Gryffindor eats it all." He shakes her shoulder a bit harder.

She grunts, then peeks at him through her hair with sleepy eyes.

"No. I won't wait for you if you continue to be like this in 5 minutes."

Hermione whines.

"As I said, no." He's getting hungry and he won't wait for her lazy butt if she continues to be like this.

Though he has been sabotaging her research, he does pity her a bit. They will be graduating in about a month and she has been cramming multiple books about time travel into her head every free time that she gets. Because of that, she hasn't been getting decent sleep.

"You can understand that?" a student passing by asks. "She wasn't even saying anything."

Tom is offended. "Of course I underst-"

He blinks. She didn't even say anything. The random student is right.

How did he understand her?

The student winks at him and says, "I guess true love doesn't need words, huh?"

What? How did that translate to true love?

But Tom laughs no matter how much he wants to strangle the student. He says, "I guess so."

He leaves Hermione in the library because he did warn her that he won't wait for her. When she doesn't show up for dinner, however, he saves some kidney pie for her.

* * *

"Tom, are you _really_ sure you want to be Dark Lord?"

"Positive."

"Then…" Hermione bites her lip. "Will you…?"

There are a few beats of silence where he waits for her to continue.

"Will I what?"

"Will you please force elfish rights on Britain?"

Tom sighs.

"Fine."

* * *

She has been seeing Dumbledore lately. For what, he isn't sure.

Had she been reporting his behavior to their Transfiguration professor? Or is she discussing ways on how to get back to her time with Dumbledore? Either case isn't good.

He has to ask her, or, if she won't answer him truthfully then he will have to use Legilimency on her.

Tom hasn't been skimming her thoughts lately out of respect for her, rarely doing it anymore unless it's really important.

Such as now.

"What have you been talking to Dumbledore about?" he whispers to her during History of Magic. Professor Binns is droning on about Goblin wars again, half-asleep and half-dead.

Hermione shushes him, riveted with the lecture, riveted with the half-dead creature called Binns.

Tom doesn't know how Hermione is able to be interested in anything academic, even with a professor that might as well be dead with the way he's teaching.

He pokes her. "Tell me."

When she glares at him, he takes the chance to delve into her mind.

And sees Dumbledore in a skimpy bathing suit.

Tom chokes on air and immediately wrenches himself out of her mind.

 _What the hell?_

"Like what you see? It's called bikini by the way." Hermione grins at him. "You've been using Legilimency on me without my permission, Tom. That isn't nice."

He rubs his face with his hands, horrified at what he had just seen.

Is there a way to Obliviate oneself? That image will be in his nightmares for years to come.

"That's not true," he chokes out, still not over what he just saw.

Dumbledore.

Bikini.

 _Oh, Merlin_.

"Dumbledore showed me how Legilimency feels, even the softest brush of the mind." Then she tells him that she asked Dumbledore to teach her Occlumency, to shield her mind from Tom, if he ever attempts to dig into her mind. "I didn't know if you were using Legilimency on me so I had to train with Professor Dumbledore." She narrows her eyes at him. "Turns out that this isn't the only time you attempted to read my mind."

Tom molds his face into one of the most innocent expressions he has to make. "This is the first time I've used Legilimency on you. Why would you think that?"

She quirks a brow. "Because you're you?"

"I take offense to that," Tom says. "And you're not making it easy to fall for you."

She teases, "But you're already in love with me!"

He scoffs.

Inside, however, he agrees that what he has been doing to her is rude. Now that she knows that he has been using Legilimency on her though, it's fair play that he also trains her with her Occlumency.

He does it on the most unexpected times.

He's dueling her in Defense Against the Dark Arts when he asks, "Hermione, who's your ideal man?"

She rolls her eyes and casts a _Protego_ to his _Stupefy._ "That's a silly que-"

He delves into her head.

And sees puppies.

Corgis, Golden Retrievers, Siberian Huskies, and the like, playing with each other, doing things that cute puppies would do to each other.

He fights back a smile. "I thought you were a cat person?"

She shrugs, then launches an _Expelliarmus_ at him. "Maybe sending you loyal dogs will make you less evil?"

Eh. Tom doubts it.

He dodges her spell and casts it back to her.

He has noticed that whenever she's dueling him, she loves to cast that particular spell on him. To others, she uses a wide range of spells, but to him, it's _Expelliarmus_ almost exclusively.

He asks, "Why do you love casting _Expelliarmus_ at me?"

Her mouth twitches upward. "Would you like to read my mind?"

Why not? He does as she says.

But he sees Dumbledore in a bikini again.

"Hermione!" he scolds.

She bursts out in laughter, clutching her stomach. She barely dodges the _Incendio_ that he sends her hair.

Let him burn her hair! It would do her a great service!

"Did you like it, Tom?" she asks between giggles.

 _Like_ it? Does she want to know how much he _likes_ it?

He casts a more powerful _Incendio_ to her hair. Sadly, her shield charm is impenetrable.

Fine. She wants to battle against him with Occlumency? Then he will give it to her.

He attempts to read her mind again and again, though he is careful not to use too much force since she is a beginner at Occlumency after all.

He has noticed a pattern.

Whenever he asks about simple things like _Who do you like more, me or Harry?_ She would imagine cute things like kittens and puppies.

And then she'd brutally answer _Harry._

When he asks sensitive questions such as _Did I succeed as Dark Lord?_ He receives the Dumbledore nightmare fuel.

She's getting good, to be honest. He's proud that she's able to block simple Legilimency in such a short time.

Sometimes, he gets carried away, however. Tom has too much fun on reading her mind, expecting the unexpected (he still hates the Dumbledore image though), and accidentally forces her mind to take on too much.

He gets glimpses of her future.

Of S.P.E.W.

He teases her relentlessly for that and he earns hours of lectures on elfish welfare and the abuse they receive and their rights. He fell asleep last time and she woke him up, angry, and gave him books on the topic.

 _When you become Dark Lord, you_ _ **will**_ _protect the house elves. Or else I will hunt you down._

She gets headaches when he puts too much power behind his Legilimency so he tries to be careful.

Then he realizes that he isn't using this opportunity to find out more about the future!

Hermione has been oddly accepting of him into her mind, letting him cast Legilimency on her, trusting him not to push too much to see the future. This is his chance!

Now that he finally remembered himself, he reminds himself to poke around her head more, never mind that her head gets hurt.

So he taps her on the shoulder to get her attention. She has been puzzling over a problem in her Arithmancy homework for a while now.

But then he sees her concentrated expression. She's chewing on her quill, a wrinkle between her brows is forming.

Maybe he shouldn't disturb her.

"What?" she says, a sweet smile on her lips. "Would you like to see puppies again?"

Tom returns her smile, unexpected warmth fills his chest.

Fine. He won't force her mind. She'll just tell him once they're closer.

"Sure," he says, and reaches into her thoughts.

He sees Dumbledore in a bikini.

* * *

 **End Note** : They have an odd courtship.


End file.
